Family,Monday, April 09, 2007
Our church had an outdoor Easter morning service I was looking forward to all week. It was a beautiful morning that started with children singing a worship song. This was followed by several traditional Easter songs like Crown Him with Many Crowns. That’s a favorite of mine and I still had the song in my head as I was falling asleep that night. We had sat down at 9:45, and the service started at 10:15. By 11am, Matthew was thoroughly restless and wanted to leave.
I took him towards the back of the outdoor area and there happened to be a great number of children running around on the grass area, playing at the decorative fountain and climbing and and getting into everything from rocks, to stairs, to dirt. This was fun momentarily, but after another 30 minutes, I wanted to sit down again and listen to the sermon. After all, it was Easter Sunday and the pastor had been preparing his sermon all week in anticipation for honoring the resurrection of Jesus this day. Unfortunately, Matthew would simply not sit still. Both Jenn and I grew tired of chasing him all over the community center park. He had received one spanking already and the thought of turning Easter morning into a spanking session was not very attractive. So we reluctantly headed home.
I was mildly frustrated that Matthew would not sit still. I began to think that we need to tighten up discipline on him so that he will sit still during a service. Jenn disagreed and we had a bit of tension on that subject. But it seemed that we were not the only parents struggling. After all, the area they chose to have the service was a very cool outdoor community center and park that looked like a playground for kids. It’s like placing kids in Disneyland and telling them to sit still. Normally on Sundays the toddlers are in playrooms where they play with toys, hear stories and eat snacks while the parents are in the service. I suppose it is a bit unrealistic to expect Matthew is going to adapt to sitting through a sermon without every having tried to do so previously.
There were parents scatter all over the place. Several parents were even in their cars with their kids. There was even a parent that happened to be leaving at the same time we were leaving. Next year, we may either change our expectations and expect Matthew to play in the back with other kids. Or we will try to leave him with my parents that morning.
Family,Monday, April 09, 2007
We had a full day on Easter Day. Morning started with Church, lunch time was Taco Bell, an after lunch walk to the park were we took a number of photos. Matthew had his daily nap, while I started cooking a ham, and finally our local family came over to celebrate my father and brother’s birthdays.
The photo below is of Jenn and Matthew at the park. We found this cool tree that seemed to work very good for photos and Matthew seemed to enjoy it too.
I found a dandelion bloom, or what I’ve always referred to as a “wish”. This next photo is of me and Matthew, with his “wish” in his mouth.
To see more of the flickr photos in this set, Click Here
Family,Friday, April 06, 2007
Matthew had his first haircut. We were concerned with the sharp scissors being next to his precious head. But he didn’t flinch or make any sudden moves. Here’s some before, during and after shots. Don’t be confused about how the series of photos suggest that he went from a wild haired crazy kid to a clean cut well behaved child. Unfortunately the haircut had no effect on his behavior, but fortunately, we still love him. 
Before
During
After
Family,Thursday, March 29, 2007
The “intellectual elites” are sending the message throughout society that spanking your child is wrong. Jenn and I have been struggling to understand where we stand. We like some of the non-physical techniques like time-out and prefer to implement a non-physical means of discipline if possible. I find myself saying to Matthew that he’s either going to time-out or getting a spanking.
Jenn and I have been seriously studying this topic recently. We visited Dr. Sears website, read information in commentaries and the bible, and found some information out of universities. What we found is very revealing.
There is a very thorough article at the Biolo Website titled “Spare the Rod”. It refutes each argument of people who are against spaking. It is probably the one stop shop to shoot down those that say it is bad to spank.
The research presented on Dr. Sears site is mainly showing the effects of abusive forms of punishment in an abusive environment. There is little mentioned about the effects of a more balanced approach withing a loving environment. Dr. Sears says that the effects are “less”, but that is very ambiguous. Really, “less” could mean “zero”. And actually, there is a study showing that a balanced approach to discipline in an encouraging nurturing environment actually provides the “most favorable outcome”.
Dr. Diana Baumrind of the Institute for Human Development at the University of California-Berkeley, conducted a decade-long study of families with children 3 to 9 years old. Baumrind found that parents employing a balanced disciplinary style of firm control (including spanking) and positive encouragement experienced the most favorable outcome in their children. Parents taking extreme approaches to discipline (authoritarian-types using excessive punishment with less encouragement or permissive-types using little punishment and no spanking) were less successful.
Those who are against spanking will also site that it will damage your child for life and they will suffer in adulthood! But again, their research is very biased towards abusive forms of discipline in very abusive environments, or teenage spanking. Research is showing that the link between adult aggression and spanking in childhood cannot be supported by the data.
In a 1994 review article on corporal punishment, Dr. Robert E. Larzelere, a director of research at Boys Town, Nebraska, presents evidence supporting a parent’s selective use of spanking of children, particularly those 2 to 6 years old. After thoroughly reviewing the literature, Larzelere concludes that any association between spanking and antisocial aggressiveness in children is insignificant and artifactual.
After a decade of longitudinal study of children beginning in third grade, Dr. Leonard Eron found no association between punishment (including spanking) and later aggression. Eron, a clinical psychologist at the Univeristy of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research, concluded, “Upon follow-up 10 years after the original data collection, we found that punishment of aggressive acts at the earlier age was no longer related to current aggression, and instead, other variables like parental nurturance and children’s identification with their parents were more important in predicting later aggression.”
It’s interesting that Dr. Sears also attempts to interpret Scripture to fit his disciplinary beliefs. I have checked a number of different sources for interpretation of Scripture and it seems unanimous that everyone understand the “Rod” to mean corporal punishment. But Dr. Sears insists that it’s just a Shepard’s stick used to nudge sheep. The more I think about it, the more ridiculous that sounds. If I tried to push Matthew with a stick when he’s misbehaving, he’s likely to just yank the stick away from me and start beating me with it! Those tantrums can be pretty nasty.
After reading this research, not only are we more careful as to what we believe from supposed Christian doctors, but we are going to feel more confident in disciplining our son. Yes, he gets spanked, but he is also showered with lots of love. The pictures on this site don’t lie. He is a very happy boy.
Family,Wednesday, March 14, 2007
San Jose’s Kelly Park is a very old park that I used to go to as a kid. They have rides for kids, a small zoo, a Japanese tea garden and a historic park with old historical buildings from early years of San Jose. One of my favorites that is still there is the labyrinth. Here’s a photo of Matthew running through the same labyrinth, decades after I used to run through with my little feet.
See all our photos of March
